If you’re human, you’re going to be dealing with difficult people from time to time. You’ll find them at work, at home, or even while out shopping. While you’ll likely to solve a problem with a relative or friend differently than a stranger, there are also some universal ways of communicating effectively with difficult people.
Here are some tips to turn those lions into lambs:
1. Give them the benefit of the doubt. See if you can get to the root of why they’re acting difficult. Sometimes people are just having a bad day. Or perhaps the reason could have nothing to do with the situation at hand, but something else in their life.
2. Be kind. Fighting fire with fire often makes the situation worse. If someone’s being difficult with you, just keep a cool head and remain calm and kind. Chances are that this person will appreciate the fact that you’re being patient.
• Kindness can help your relationship with any difficult person. Even if you don’t particularly feel like being kind, try it at every opportunity. You could end up making a new friend!
3. Focus on the positive. This tip is especially important when the difficult person in your life is a family member. Because that person will always be in your life, it would benefit you in many ways to have a positive relationship. Even if they are difficult, they have some good aspects too. Spend your time focusing on and bringing out these positive aspects.
4. Avoid pointing fingers. It’s tempting to place blame for difficult situations on the other person. Adopt the mentality that neither of you are to blame for the problem. It’ll help you gain peace and clarity about the situation.
• It’s also important not to fight the other person. You don’t want to be considered a difficult person either. Practice expressing your opinion without resorting to arguments.
5. Focus on the humor. You’ve probably been in a difficult situation before where you suffered at the time, but later it turned out to be quite a humorous story. Find the humor in your current difficulty. It may help you both be more relaxed and apt to seek a positive solution.
6. Determine what can be remedied. Focus on the particular things that you can take action on in the situation. For instance, if you’re having a problem at work, mediate the problem if possible. In fixing what you can, you might find that many unresolved issues with others resolve themselves.
• You also need to have the wisdom to understand when you won’t be able to change something. You may need to come to terms with the fact that a person will always cause you difficulty. This acceptance alone may help you to better deal with this person.
7. Get help from others. You may be able to find someone who has gone through a very similar situation. Ask them how they handled the problem. This other person may be able to show you how to approach the situation with a different mindset. After all, you never really know what piece of important advice someone else may be able to give you.
Difficult people will always be in your life, but that doesn’t mean that dealing with them always needs to be hard. Try these strategies to smooth out challenging situations and make your communications more effective.
With a little effort and understanding, you may find that some of these people really aren’t even difficult at all!