There’s something about June and brides. Surpassed only by Valentine’s Day as America’s most popular wedding date, thousands of brides choose to be married in June. For the typical year it takes to plan a modern American wedding, these women, and often their mothers (and to a slightly lesser extent their intended and both families), immerse themselves in the myriad details necessary to plan the perfect wedding.
Of course, weddings are exciting; and today’s typical wedding includes scores of intricate details and “crucial” decisions. It’s easy to get so caught up in the details of planning the wedding that brides and grooms forget to focus on the importance of the life change they are making. Though it often becomes an all-consuming event, in reality the wedding is just a small moment in a marriage. Moving from the autonomy of being single to the shared decision-making and compromise necessary to build a successful marriage is a major life change. Unfortunately, the cultural pressure to create the perfect wedding often overshadows the true meaning and challenges of this life-changing event.
Some women become so immersed in the bride role that the return to normalcy is such a let-down that it triggers a type of depression called “wedding withdrawal” or “post-wedding blues.” Once the big day is over and the honeymoon ended, the humdrum reality of newlywed life sets in. In a short week, brides go from being the center of attention with a full planning calendar and social agenda to the ho-hum daily reality of fixing meals, going back to work, and adjusting to married life. From sharing the bathroom to pooling money and making decisions together, marriage is filled with new challenges. Many newlyweds, however, find the role of wife less glamorous and exciting than the role of bride and depression can set in.
If you find yourself feeling sad after the wedding is over, talk to your spouse. Talk about the reasons you chose to get married, your commitment to each other, and your love for each other. Seek help from a psychiatrist skilled in cognitive-behavioral therapy if your depression lasts. As you plan your wedding, work to keep the event in its greater perspective. Your wedding day is just the first step in a lifelong celebration of your life together with your new spouse.
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