Do you seem to take on other people’s emotions and then have trouble managing them? In this video I answer a viewer question and discuss two reason you can be an emotional sponge:
- Having low emotional intelligence
- Being a people pleaser or wanting to save people
I also discuss 5 ways to stop being an emotional sponge.
- Increase your self-awareness. You can get help identifying your true emotions with emotions cards that you can download from
- Identify the origin of your emotions
- Learn to manage your emotions so they don’t overwhelm you
- Establish clear boundaries between yourself and others
- Understand what’s behind your need to save people
If you have trouble recognizing your emotions, you can use emotions cards to identify your emotions. You can get these cards as a download by entering your name and email and I’ll send them to you.
Videos referenced in this video
How to Manage Your Emotions
How to Challenge Your Distorted Thoughts
Hi Dr Marks,
I watch your videos and find them informative and entertaining. I think I have ADHD and every now and then I chuckle at your matter of fact approach to our little idiosyncrasies. I see myself in what you are saying and have to laugh, like “what’s the point of keeping something because you think you may use it one day but when that day comes you don’t even know where to find it in your cluttered house”. I really enjoy watching your videos and you are so relatable and authentic that I find comfort in your advice.
Thank you so much for making everything so easy to understand, and for letting your sense of humour shine through too.
Sending you much positive energy from Down Under,
Christine
Thankyou Dr Marks for your easy to listen to videos. There is much emotional disregulation in my family. By using the cards I will help myself and hopefully educate my family.
I enjoyed your videos on YouTube. It helps me understand how to control our emotional behavior and how to cope in any given situation adequately in a public or private setting.
I’ve always struggled with how to manage my emotions, especially my negative ones, starting from identifying them to how to get “rid” of them. I am very grateful about your video explaining how one can be an emotional sponge. As a HSP, I struggle with managing my emotions while staying considerate to others and setting boundaries so as to not be swept by other people’s emotions. I thought that to get a better EQ, I just had to get more social experiences and it would come with time. So I am very happy that you showed me how to increase my emotional intelligence so I can protect myself, accept myself and love myself while living healthily without getting affected by however the people around me are feeling.
In short, thank you very much. I love practical answers. It is really insightful. Your help is a great blessing.
You’re very welcome Aisu. I hope the tips help you. All the best to you. ???
I’m glad Lien. Thanks for coming over here and saying hello. ?
Wow! Thanks for being here. It is incredibly refreshing to see a face that looks like mine. I seriously thank you for being here.
Dr. Marks, I watch your videos on YouTube and you offer some amazing tools that have helped me better utilize the therapy/psychiatry I have been undergoing for about the past year. It helps to have the details explained in a way that can take time to digest. I really needed more in depth emotional signifiers because up until even a few months ago, I had a hard time isolating how I felt. I still feel lost at times. My therapist shows me the continuum but I still don’t have the words for the in-between. Thank you for what you do!
I’m so glad Sarah that my videos have supplemented what you’re getting with your therapy. Part of what I aim to do is help people understand themselves at a deep level. That level of self-awareness is freeing! ? All the best to you.
Hey, I started watching your videos when I was trying to move away from and heal from a toxic relationship. I love the card idea. I have just downloaded them. I can’t wait to use them. I think they’ll be of help. Listening to you, I feel like I really never had any emotional intelligence and awareness in my life. I need to embark on a journey to find them, notice them, and manage them.
How do I do this.
From watching this YouTube video, I have realised I am always trying to fix people.
I hope you can refer help to me when you read my comment.
Thank you.
I don’t know you that much but I like you already.
Hi Nalubebapatria. I’m so glad you got a lot out of the video. Gaining insight and seeing areas to work on is the first step. To get more help you can search or a therapist in your area. Psychology Today has a website where you can search by state. Betterhelp is a site that has therapists that do telemedicine and therapy by messaging and email. f you choose the messaging only option the cost is less and you can get a response every day. The therapists can also set goals, send you worksheets and give you personalized help. If you use this link you will get a 10% discount. https://betterhelp.com/drmarks
I wasn’t sent a link for the emotion cards DL . How can I DL them?
Hi Heather. Tap on the image to download the cards. It will open in a window and you can download the pdf
Ooo! Do you think you could make cards to help with dealing with the:
Emotional abusers in our life that we to have at least some contact with or don’t want to cut them out completely.
Those that Manipulate cause guilt, shame then blame and play the victim thus causing us to absorb their emotions and feel at fault.
Goodness, that would be so incredibly helpful to have a card with helpful phrases on how to dictate boundaries and how to deflect the abuse. I’ve recently had the self the self awareness that I need to truly work on the root of my issues and realized that my inner circle of people are all pretty toxic, I don’t want to shut them out completely which is what I have done because I’m not sure how to articulate the need for self work and lack of their abuse without being blamed as selfish and appearing that I’m pushing everyone away. Just a thought.
Thank you and apologies for the lengthy comments!!!
~Alyson
Thanks Alyson for the suggestion! Dr. Ramani Durvasla has a lot of videos on narcissism and abuse. She may mention some responses that you can use that way. Or you can try reaching out to her and see if she will produce something like this. In the meantime, I’ll see what I can come up with.
I found you on YouTube and your expertise and take on things is truly helping me already, also love your analogies to real situations and they’re even comical sometimes (hypothetically Beating down Bob lol) you’re so real, genuine and funny and you’re content is just so helpful I’ve started a playlist of Theraputical helpful videos, Thank you for your time and dedication helping others. ~Alyson
Thanks so much Alyson I really appreciate that!
Love the design and content, but would prefer equal positive and negative in each dimension… E.g. fearful to courageous, etc. Why? Bc I don’t need reminding of all the negative words, they are in my head in a perpetual loop. It’s the positive ones I struggle to keep in mind.
Are you talking about the cards? (vs the video). If so, good point, I could expand them. This was to get you started. Thanks
I was looking for emotional intelligence cards
Hi Jill. Scroll down and click the image of the cards and it should take you to the pdf.