Are you someone’s knight in shinning armor rescuing damsels in distress? This can be an exhilarating feeling for some men who are attracted to women who need their help. It feels good to be needed and in general there is nothing wrong with wanting to help others. However, the kind of help delivered by the knight, is typically one that which requires personal sacrifice of some sort. It’s difficult to sustain this type of “help” and what can happen is overtime the knight becomes worn down and the armor starts to disappear. A partner who was attracted to you for your ability to rescue, may not be as pleased when she sees what’s underneath the armor. Then what? The knight is left to deal with the needy, flailing damsel unshielded, and the true dynamics of the relationship is revealed.
The flip side of this is that the damsel is led to believe you will always be there to take care of things and can feel disappointed or even misled when you step away from your role. She’s not completely to blame, after all, this is how you marketed yourself to her.
People can fall into this pattern for different reasons, however one way to explore your own reason is to ask yourself “what do I have to offer someone?” Is the answer to that financial security or other resources versus just yourself? What makes you valuable? Some people believe they don’t have much to offer someone so they compensate by doing things or giving things.
When considering the connectedness between yourself and someone else, I think one good question to answer would be: If she and I were the last two people left on the earth, could we be content with just each other?
Let me know what you think