Whether your relationship with your parents is good or problematic, one element remains constant. It’s important to recognize what you can and can’t accept and make those limits clear.
Are you an adult child struggling to maintain balance in your relationship with your parents? Here are some helpful tips for setting boundaries.
Tips for Setting Boundaries with Parents
1. Accept your personal needs
Difficulties often arise when an individual believes that the needs of others come before their own. Even if your parents encourage that attitude, the truth is that you have a responsibility to care for yourself first.
2. You are your own boss
Do you hear the words, “I’m still your parent” whenever the two of you disagree? Once you become an adult, you’re under no obligation to obey your parents. You can love and respect them, but remember that you are in charge of your own life.
3. Stand your ground
During uncomfortable conversations, do you find yourself trying to soften the blow with vague comments? When setting boundaries, it’s best to be clear and get right to the point.
Don’t mistake directness for cruelty. You can be kind and patient while expressing yourself. In fact, a calm and caring demeanor often goes a long way in promoting acceptance.
4. Establish a game plan
As with any project, preparation helps you gather your thoughts and create a plan of action. Make a list of potential coping strategies for situations where your wishes are not being respected. These may include deep breathing, calling a friend, or even walking away.
When you have your list, practice these methods. The more often you do, the more comfortable you’ll feel when you put them to actual use.
5. Talk to a therapist
Other family members may be sympathetic, but they’re still too close to the situation. An experienced therapist provides an objective point of view along with help in walking through different scenarios.
Want more tips for setting boundaries with parents? My video library of psychology concepts includes helpful information on self-esteem, coping skills and other relevant topics.
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