Identifying and Managing Your Anger
As you go about your daily life, take notice of how you relate with your family, friends, and co-workers.
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What do you see – a kind, patient, caring person who goes out of her way to take other people’s feelings into consideration? Or do you find that you often feel on edge, tense, in a hurry, or downright angry toward others?
If the latter is the case, this article will help you focus on and clarify the source of your anger. Once you identify what’s making you mad, you can proceed to a solution.
Consider these possible reasons for carrying around your anger:
1. You wish your life situation were different
Are you living the life you truly want to live? Have things turned out for you the way you always hoped or planned? Or are the specifics of your life astoundingly different and maybe even disappointing from what you want your life to truly be?
2. You’re in an unhappy relationship
It’s hard to block out the negativity and tension that can come from a contentious relationship, especially if it you come home to the person each night. You might have even “checked out” of the relationship emotionally. You’re not quite sure how to change things so you simply get angry.
3. You struggle to resolve an issue from your youth
You find yourself often thinking of your dysfunctional family or how growing up the way you did seems to mark every day of your life. Why did your father have to be an alcoholic? How did your brother think it was okay to pick on you all those years?
4. You’re disgusted at yourself for letting yourself go
You used to work out and keep your yourself in shape. But now, you wear floppy, too-big t-shirts to hide how out-of-shape you are. You grab a fast-food meal on the way home from work and crash out on the sofa when you get home.
5. You’ve become a person you don’t know anymore
Your life is on a path that you’re unhappy with, yet you’re confused about how to change it. You care less and less about how you treat others, even those you love. You’re getting angrier every day.
6. You or someone close to you suffered a trauma
Whenever a trauma occurs, the person’s feelings are initially panic, fear, and maybe horror. When the traumatic event ends, confusing and troubling feelings remain.
If you find yourself feeling frequently annoyed, aggravated and angry, it’s probably time to reflect on what’s beneath the anger. Determining why you’re angry can help you process the negativity and diffuse your anger.
