Coping Skills: Managing Distress Effectively
What are coping skills? Coping skills are the thoughts and behaviors you engage in that help you manage distressing situations. They can be divided into emotion-focused and problem-focused.
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Here are some examples of negative or unhealthy emotion focused coping skills:
These are negative coping skills because the relief they provide is very temporary and they can create more problems for you.
Emotion focused coping skills help you feel better, but they don’t change your situation. They help you manage your reaction to the situation. Problem focused skills are best for situations that you have some control over because they can help you solve the problem or minimize it.
Here are some examples of positive or adaptive coping mechanisms:
Here is a download of more positive coping activities. Click the image to download.
Problem-focused coping skills are better when it’s a situation that you may be able to change with your efforts. Examples are improving your time management, setting limits with people or with your time or exploring solutions.
How are coping skills related to defense mechanisms?
Coping skills are the things that you do on a conscious level to deal with distressing emotions. Defense mechanisms occur on an unconscious level, meaning you are not always aware of what you’re doing to deal with the inner conflict. You may become aware that you’re doing it, but usually in the moment, it’s more of an automatic reflex.
The psychological defenses are divided into three categories. Primitive, less primitive and mature. Primitive defenses are considered immature and childlike. They are normal responses in childhood, but as we mature, we’re supposed to adopt more of the mature defenses.
Some personality types employ more primitive defenses. Borderline personality is one such personality. In fact, the name borderline comes from the concept that the personality is on the border between neurotic and psychotic.
Psychological Defense Mechanisms
We strive to respond to stress and inner conflict with mature defenses. But under extreme stress we may revert to some of the immature defenses.
It’s not a big deal if you do it from time to time, but it creates relationship problems and stunts your emotional development when you employ them under most circumstances. Primitive defenses lead to negative coping strategies. Going back to the example of borderline personality disorder, one of the characteristics is using self-harm as a coping strategy.
Stay tuned for more on the defense mechanisms.
Here’s the video on projection.
