Is Sexual Equality Taking an Unequal Toll on Women?
In the last half century, tremendous strides have been made in sexual equality between men and women, but the battle is far from over. For every small gain, women seem to be paying a higher price than men. According to a Time magazine Special Report on The State of the American Woman (Oct. 26, 2009), women today earn 77 cents on the dollar compared to men. While that’s a tremendous improvement over the 58 cents women earned in 1972, it’s still a huge discrepancy; especially considering that today women are the primary breadwinners in 40% of American homes.
The economy has accelerated the shift in earning power. More traditionally male jobs than female jobs have been lost, particularly in manufacturing. Unfortunately, women’s earnings fell 2% last year, twice as much as men’s. American families that were comfortable with two salaries are struggling to live on one, especially when that salary is brought home by an underpaid woman. Women are feeling the financial strain much more acutely than men.
Not only are women often shouldering the sole burden of providing for their families, but they feel they carry greater responsibility than men for child rearing and home care. The feeling of inequality at home remains despite the fact that 84% of couples recently surveyed said they negotiate responsibilities, rules and relationship issues.
Perhaps most disturbing is the revelation that despite the achievement of greater freedom, education and financial power, women are less happy. Puzzled social scientists say increased female stress and unhappiness are universal across all socio-economic levels. Theories include basic changes in American society and the American family that are felt more keenly by women than men or perhaps gains in workplace equality are now forcing women to battle the same pressures that have long contributed to male unhappiness or it may be that women have finally gained the self-c0nfidence to be honest about what they want and don’t want from life.
Carrying a constant burden of increased stress can eat away at a woman’s physical and mental health. Stress can cause irritability, lack of energy, sleep problems and even lead to serious depression. If taking a mental health day isn’t enough to get you back on track, you may need professional help to learn to cope with stress and re-balance your life.
We’ve Come a Long Way, Baby
Time magazine just came out with a very interesting Special Report on The State of the American Woman (Oct. 26, 2009). Comparing results of a new survey conducted jointly by Time and the nonprofit Rockefeller Foundation with statistics from a similar 1972 Time survey, reporter Nancy Gibbs and Time statisticians took a revealing look at changes in the role and status of American women over the past third of a century. The result made for some interesting reading. The bottom line? We’ve come a long way, baby; but there are still some bumps in the road ahead.
Here are some of the more interesting revelations:
- In 1972 with women’s lib starting to find its stride, women made up only 2% of the top echelons of civil service jobs. There were no women cabinet members, no female FBI agents, no women network news anchors, no female Supreme Court Justices. Today women regularly serve on the cabinet and the last 3 out of 4 Secretaries of State have been female. For the first time a woman President became a real possibility when Hilary Clinton ran in the Democratic primary. Two women now serve on the Supreme Court. When Diane Sawyer takes over the reins at ABC, two of the three major network news organizations will be anchored by women. Women, particularly in the corporate arena, say they still feel the pressure of the glass ceiling; but the cracks are getting bigger every year.
- In 1972 women comprised 30% of the workforce; today, it’s half and 76% of both men and women agree that’s a good thing for society. In 40% of families women are now the primary breadwinners, nearly unheard of in 1972. In fact, 89% of both sexes said they were comfortable with the woman earning more than the man. Interestingly, more women (69%) than men (49%) felt men resented the shift in power.
- In 1972, most mothers stayed home to care for their children. Today, only 30% are stay-at-home moms. The majority of both sexes (65%) felt the lack of parental supervision was bad for society. More working moms (55%) than dads (28%) still felt women contributed the lion’s share to child rearing and household responsibilities. This difference in perception was one of the more interesting revelations in the survey.
Monday: Is equality taking an unequal toll on women?
Declutter Your Life
Clutter is the curse of the disorganized. You can recognize disorganized people (or perhaps yourself) by the sea of papers and reports that flood their desks and the piles of “stuff” stacked in their offices. If you are drowning in a sea of clutter, there’s a good chance you need help getting organized.
At the root of a cluttered life is failure to create a system for decision making and task completion. The organizationally challenged tend to defer decisions which interferes with task completion. Disposing of an object, whether a report, correspondence, mail or bill, requires making decisions about what action to take and how to dispose of the item — whether to store, not store or pass it along. Without systems for automating and handling these tasks, decisions must be made on a case-by-case basis. Sheer volume eventually overwhelms a person’s ability to keep up and clutter starts to pile up.
As clutter builds, it serves as a constant reminder of uncompleted tasks which increases anxiety which makes decision making more difficult which leads to more clutter which … You get the idea. Disorganization feeds on itself in a vicious circle!
Have you ever noticed that when events in your life become overwhelming, clutter seems to pile up, even in the lives of generally organized people? A cluttered office or home can be the sign of a cluttered mind. When your mind becomes overwhelmed by extraordinary or unexpected events or simply from trying to juggle too many activities or responsibilities, you feel overwhelmed. You may lose focus or have trouble concentrating. Your mind is filled with “clutter.” All the “to dos” and “what ifs” are interfering with your ability to deal with life and take action.
Efficient decision making and task completion require systems that allow us to follow pre-determined patterns when dealing with similar items. You can learn to organize the “things” in your life; but if your efforts at organization always seem to fail, it can be a sign of a disorganized mental state. You may need the help of an experienced psychiatrist to unravel the cause and develop useful systems for handling stressful problems.
If clutter is burying you, Dr. Marks’ podcast How to Get Organized can show you how to sweep away the clutter and get organized. And if you need more, Dr. Marks can help.
Recovering from Tragedy Is a Process
When you are caught in the throes of tragedy, your emotions feel out-of-control. But there is an order to how we process the chaos that accompanies traumatic loss, whether it is the death of a loved one, a failed romantic relationship, job loss, a difficult medical diagnosis or any of the challenges we face as we move through life. Understanding the process we go through as we work through a traumatic experience can help us cope. There is comfort in understanding that our feelings and responses are normal.
When we suffer a tragedy, we grieve for what is lost. Death, divorce, job loss, relocation, illness — all involve significant change and loss. In order to accept the change and move forward, it is necessary to recognize and mourn what is lost, whether it is friendship, love, familiarity, ability, status, financial stability, etc. Psychiatrists have identified distinct five stages of grief that accompany loss. While these are most often applied to mourning the death of a loved one, we go through the same stages as we learn to accept and heal from any tragic loss.
- Denial and isolation. At first, we may deny feelings of loss or try to minimize the importance of the event. People may withdraw from family and friends through emotional discomfort or embarrassment.
- Anger. Anger can be directed outward or inward if the person feels her actions contributed to the tragedy. Feelings of “why me” are also common.
- Bargaining. No one wants to accept traumatic loss. We may try to bargain with God, promising “I will do this if you remove this burden from my life.” Or be tempted to plead with an employer if we are laid off. Bargaining attempts to stave off the inevitable.
- Depression. As anger fades, numbness may overwhelm us. Pervasive sadness blocks feeling. We may feel hopeless. You may need the guidance of an experienced psychiatrist to help you move forward.
- Acceptance. As we work through loss, we learn to accept the new reality.
For more information on How to Recover from Tragedy, listen to Dr. Marks’ October 14 podcast.
Make an Exit an Entry
Roadblocks Always Have Detours
At Least You Tried
Follow Your Dreams With Confidence
