Is Sexual Equality Taking an Unequal Toll on Women?
In the last half century, tremendous strides have been made in sexual equality between men and women, but the battle is far from over. For every small gain, women seem to be paying a higher price than men. According to a Time magazine Special Report on The State of the American Woman (Oct. 26, 2009), women today earn 77 cents on the dollar compared to men. While that’s a tremendous improvement over the 58 cents women earned in 1972, it’s still a huge discrepancy; especially considering that today women are the primary breadwinners in 40% of American homes.
The economy has accelerated the shift in earning power. More traditionally male jobs than female jobs have been lost, particularly in manufacturing. Unfortunately, women’s earnings fell 2% last year, twice as much as men’s. American families that were comfortable with two salaries are struggling to live on one, especially when that salary is brought home by an underpaid woman. Women are feeling the financial strain much more acutely than men.
Not only are women often shouldering the sole burden of providing for their families, but they feel they carry greater responsibility than men for child rearing and home care. The feeling of inequality at home remains despite the fact that 84% of couples recently surveyed said they negotiate responsibilities, rules and relationship issues.
Perhaps most disturbing is the revelation that despite the achievement of greater freedom, education and financial power, women are less happy. Puzzled social scientists say increased female stress and unhappiness are universal across all socio-economic levels. Theories include basic changes in American society and the American family that are felt more keenly by women than men or perhaps gains in workplace equality are now forcing women to battle the same pressures that have long contributed to male unhappiness or it may be that women have finally gained the self-c0nfidence to be honest about what they want and don’t want from life.
Carrying a constant burden of increased stress can eat away at a woman’s physical and mental health. Stress can cause irritability, lack of energy, sleep problems and even lead to serious depression. If taking a mental health day isn’t enough to get you back on track, you may need professional help to learn to cope with stress and re-balance your life.
We’ve Come a Long Way, Baby
Time magazine just came out with a very interesting Special Report on The State of the American Woman (Oct. 26, 2009). Comparing results of a new survey conducted jointly by Time and the nonprofit Rockefeller Foundation with statistics from a similar 1972 Time survey, reporter Nancy Gibbs and Time statisticians took a revealing look at changes in the role and status of American women over the past third of a century. The result made for some interesting reading. The bottom line? We’ve come a long way, baby; but there are still some bumps in the road ahead.
Here are some of the more interesting revelations:
- In 1972 with women’s lib starting to find its stride, women made up only 2% of the top echelons of civil service jobs. There were no women cabinet members, no female FBI agents, no women network news anchors, no female Supreme Court Justices. Today women regularly serve on the cabinet and the last 3 out of 4 Secretaries of State have been female. For the first time a woman President became a real possibility when Hilary Clinton ran in the Democratic primary. Two women now serve on the Supreme Court. When Diane Sawyer takes over the reins at ABC, two of the three major network news organizations will be anchored by women. Women, particularly in the corporate arena, say they still feel the pressure of the glass ceiling; but the cracks are getting bigger every year.
- In 1972 women comprised 30% of the workforce; today, it’s half and 76% of both men and women agree that’s a good thing for society. In 40% of families women are now the primary breadwinners, nearly unheard of in 1972. In fact, 89% of both sexes said they were comfortable with the woman earning more than the man. Interestingly, more women (69%) than men (49%) felt men resented the shift in power.
- In 1972, most mothers stayed home to care for their children. Today, only 30% are stay-at-home moms. The majority of both sexes (65%) felt the lack of parental supervision was bad for society. More working moms (55%) than dads (28%) still felt women contributed the lion’s share to child rearing and household responsibilities. This difference in perception was one of the more interesting revelations in the survey.
Monday: Is equality taking an unequal toll on women?
Declutter Your Life
Clutter is the curse of the disorganized. You can recognize disorganized people (or perhaps yourself) by the sea of papers and reports that flood their desks and the piles of “stuff” stacked in their offices. If you are drowning in a sea of clutter, there’s a good chance you need help getting organized.
At the root of a cluttered life is failure to create a system for decision making and task completion. The organizationally challenged tend to defer decisions which interferes with task completion. Disposing of an object, whether a report, correspondence, mail or bill, requires making decisions about what action to take and how to dispose of the item — whether to store, not store or pass it along. Without systems for automating and handling these tasks, decisions must be made on a case-by-case basis. Sheer volume eventually overwhelms a person’s ability to keep up and clutter starts to pile up.
As clutter builds, it serves as a constant reminder of uncompleted tasks which increases anxiety which makes decision making more difficult which leads to more clutter which … You get the idea. Disorganization feeds on itself in a vicious circle!
Have you ever noticed that when events in your life become overwhelming, clutter seems to pile up, even in the lives of generally organized people? A cluttered office or home can be the sign of a cluttered mind. When your mind becomes overwhelmed by extraordinary or unexpected events or simply from trying to juggle too many activities or responsibilities, you feel overwhelmed. You may lose focus or have trouble concentrating. Your mind is filled with “clutter.” All the “to dos” and “what ifs” are interfering with your ability to deal with life and take action.
Efficient decision making and task completion require systems that allow us to follow pre-determined patterns when dealing with similar items. You can learn to organize the “things” in your life; but if your efforts at organization always seem to fail, it can be a sign of a disorganized mental state. You may need the help of an experienced psychiatrist to unravel the cause and develop useful systems for handling stressful problems.
If clutter is burying you, Dr. Marks’ podcast How to Get Organized can show you how to sweep away the clutter and get organized. And if you need more, Dr. Marks can help.
Recovering from Tragedy Is a Process
When you are caught in the throes of tragedy, your emotions feel out-of-control. But there is an order to how we process the chaos that accompanies traumatic loss, whether it is the death of a loved one, a failed romantic relationship, job loss, a difficult medical diagnosis or any of the challenges we face as we move through life. Understanding the process we go through as we work through a traumatic experience can help us cope. There is comfort in understanding that our feelings and responses are normal.
When we suffer a tragedy, we grieve for what is lost. Death, divorce, job loss, relocation, illness — all involve significant change and loss. In order to accept the change and move forward, it is necessary to recognize and mourn what is lost, whether it is friendship, love, familiarity, ability, status, financial stability, etc. Psychiatrists have identified distinct five stages of grief that accompany loss. While these are most often applied to mourning the death of a loved one, we go through the same stages as we learn to accept and heal from any tragic loss.
- Denial and isolation. At first, we may deny feelings of loss or try to minimize the importance of the event. People may withdraw from family and friends through emotional discomfort or embarrassment.
- Anger. Anger can be directed outward or inward if the person feels her actions contributed to the tragedy. Feelings of “why me” are also common.
- Bargaining. No one wants to accept traumatic loss. We may try to bargain with God, promising “I will do this if you remove this burden from my life.” Or be tempted to plead with an employer if we are laid off. Bargaining attempts to stave off the inevitable.
- Depression. As anger fades, numbness may overwhelm us. Pervasive sadness blocks feeling. We may feel hopeless. You may need the guidance of an experienced psychiatrist to help you move forward.
- Acceptance. As we work through loss, we learn to accept the new reality.
For more information on How to Recover from Tragedy, listen to Dr. Marks’ October 14 podcast.
You Can Learn to Manage Stress
Stress can be debilitating. Excessive or chronic stress can take an unhealthy toll on both your physical and emotional health (see our Oct. 2 post on Learning to Recognize Symptoms of Stress). Many women need a little help figuring out what triggers their stress and why certain situations or people seem to push them over the edge. They may need some guidance from an experienced professional to discover and learn new methods that allow them to effectively manage stress and stay in control. The good news is that with the help and guidance of a psychiatrist experienced in understanding and treating chronic stress, women can live healthier, happier, stress-free lives.
Discovering the source of your stress often involves exploring why you respond to certain situations or people in ways that increase your stress levels. Guided by an experienced psychiatrist, psychotherapy (also called insight-oriented therapy) can help you discover the sources that explain your behavior. Cognitive-behavioral therapy can help you replace negative thoughts and behavior patterns that may be aggravating or even creating stress with healthy, positive thoughts and actions.
Trying to balance the daily demands of home and work life, places considerable strain on today’s professional woman. Recognizing the arduous toll stress can take on professional women, Atlanta psychiatrist and psychotherapist Dr. Tracey Marks has developed a special 4-Step Stress Buster Plan geared to give women the tools they need to cope successfully with the stress in their lives. During a 90-minute initial evaluation, Dr. Marks will talk with you about your current situation and help you develop a personal action plan to reduce your stress levels. As a medical doctor, Dr. Marks can assess and discuss with you any need for medication or additional medical intervention to ensure your good health.
As part of Dr. Marks’ unique 4-Step Stress Buster Plan, you receive the doctor’s valuable notebook How to De-Stress & Achieve Balance. Packed with helpful information and de-stressing exercises, the notebook provides valuable insights and suggestions for future thought and discussion. You also receive access to Dr. Marks’ collection of soothing meditation CDs containing proven relaxation techniques you can practice and use at home.
You are not alone. Dr. Marks can help. Call and make an appointment with Dr. Marks today.
Regaining Control of Our Anger
Has anger run amuck in America? We have always been a nation of strong opinions and diverse views, but it seems that the added stress of the economy is causing us to crack (read our Sept. 25 post). The problem with the nation’s rising anger is bedded more in emotion than reality.
Economic and government experts tell us that we will survive, that times will get better; and history tells us this is true. But so many of us have been struggling without jobs, without enough to pay our mortgages or support our families for so long, that, internally, emotionally, many of us have lost hope. We simply don’t believe that things will get better for “me.” And we’re angry about that. When events affect us personally, we’re unable to take the wider view. Constant stress turns our psyche brittle causing minor problems and small slights to elicit angry outbursts out of proportion to reality.
Poorly controlled anger fueled by anxiety and stress seems to be at the root of the pervasive rudeness that is sweeping across America. When fear and anxiety about the economy and its impact on our own lives becomes too great to handle, it either explodes outward as physical or verbal anger or is internalized as anxiety and depression. Anger needs an outlet, but unhealthy expressions of anger do not solve problems, they simply create additional problems.
There are always solutions to our problems, but there are many times, like today, when many of us may feel so overwhelmed by our problems that we cannot see those solutions. It is at times like this when many people need professional help and support from a board certified psychiatrist to cope with and find solutions to their problems. Under the direction of an experienced psychotherapist, psychodynamic therapy can help us uncover and understand the true sources of our anger and anxieties, the first step in changing destructive behavior patterns. Psychodynamic therapy is often used in concert with cognitive-behavioral therapy which can help individuals identify non-productive ways of coping with stress and anger and replace them with positive behaviors.
Are Americans Raging Out of Control?
“I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it anymore,” rants mad anchorman Howard Beale in the 1970’s movie satire Network. Beale’s nightly television rants inflame a nation of angry, frustrated citizens who have reached maximum overload and are fed up — with everything. Sound familiar? According to an article in the September 28, 2009 issue of Time magazine, pollster Frank Luntz surveyed 6,400 Americans earlier this year asking whether they agreed with Beale’s sentiment. A resounding 72% — 3 out of 4 — said yes.
The rude, angry tone in America today is the new hot media topic. Fanned 24/7 by the flames of ranting TV and radio hosts like Glenn Beck and Bill O’Reilly, Americans are spewing anger and distrust.
- U.S. Representative Joe Wilson of South Carolina shocked his colleagues and the nation when he yelled, “You Lie!” during President Obama’s nationally televised speech to Congress.
- Tennis diva Serena Williams unleashed a profanity-laced threat at a line judge during a U.S. Open semifinals match.
- Rapper Kanye West grabbed the microphone away from a startled Taylor Swift during her acceptance speech for best female video at the Video Music Awards to declare that the winner should have been Beyonce.
Rudeness is a daily occurrence in any social community. The examples of bad behavior cited above received so much press because these people are supposed to be among our nation’s role models. Those who monitor the nation’s psychological temperature are concerned about the pervading lack of respect being expressed today. A 2002 Public Agenda survey found that 79% of Americans consider lack of respect a “serious national problem.”
Anger-fueled rudeness seems to be increasing along with a sense of personal entitlement. Fanned by the ravings of national pundits and the selfish examples set by national celebrities, frustrated by the slow economic recovery, angered by the excesses of Wall Street, worried about the growing national debt, and concerned about providing for themselves and their families, usually well-mannered people are starting to crack under the strain. Rabid behavior during Congressional town-hall meetings over health care reform is just one example of anger run amuck in America.
To be continued on Monday: Regaining Control of Our Anger
Stability, Not Marriage, Key to Kids’ Happiness
A new study by an Ohio State University researcher found that it is the stability of the parent and the home, not marital status, that determines whether divorced children will thrive and be happy. The study found that children who grow up with a single mother are as likely to succeed academically and socially as those who grow up in traditional married-couple homes if the parent is emotionally stable and the home environment is stable. Published in the book Marriage and Family: Perspectives and Complexities, the study bolsters support for single-parents, gay couples, children being raised by grandparents or relatives, and other non-traditional families.
“Kids like to know what to expect,” Claire Kamp Dush, OSU assistant professor of human development and family science and study author, told The Columbus Dispatch. She explained that creating family stability means maintaining the status quo. Study data indicate that single mothers who do not move in with a new partner or remarry create the most stable home environments for their children. When home life was stable, Kamp Dush found no difference in levels of academic achievement, cognitive stimulation, emotional support or behavioral problems between children from single-parent and traditional married-couple homes.
Some researchers see a connection between stability and financial resources. Many other studies have found differences between children’s welfare and happiness in single-parent and married-couple homes. Many of those differences are rooted in financial circumstances and quality of education. When poverty enters into the equation, it can tip the balance against stable home life.
Single mothers worried about finances are more likely to suffer anxiety, depression and other emotional problems that can significantly impair the stability of home life. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 50% of children born to single mothers live below the poverty level. Statistics posted by The Heritage Foundation indicate that 35% of divorced mothers who receive child support and 42% of those who don’t live below the poverty line.
If you are struggling with single parenthood, a qualified psychiatrist like Dr. Tracey Marks can help you deal with the anger, anxiety, grief or depression you may be experiencing so that you can provide a stable home for your children.
